(no subject)
Mar. 2nd, 2009 05:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
puddlesofunIt seemed simple enough at the outset. Apply to an educational institution, enroll in some subjects. Some beauracratic running around was expected, of course. What he didn't expect was being sent on a quest to retrieve the four lost pieces of the amulet of Zaxo'or so that its mystical powers could be absorbed into the hereditary sword of the arts/languages faculty and defeat the Dragonbeast that had been menacing the villagers.
After endless travels and trevails, he returned, covered in mud and blood. An hour of queueing later, he presented the completed amulet to the heirarchs of the Arts/Languages Faculty.
“Thanks a lot, we'll let you know when it's ready.”
“You aren't going to use it on the sword now?”
“Oh, it will probably be at least a month before that happens.”
“It takes that long?”
“It only takes a couple of minutes, but we don't have a lot of staff on at the moment.”
“But the villagers are dying! One of them got dismembered on the way in, I had to watch her widower pick up all the pieces in a basket!”
“I appreciate that, but we just don't have any staff on at the moment. If I went and did your little sword thing, there wouldn't be anyone at the front desk, and we couldn't have that, could we?”
“The dragonbeast can't be harmed by normal weapons.”
She sighed. “Look. If you want to stop the monster from eating people, take this treaty form...”
“For the dragon to sign?”
“I'm not finished. Take this treaty form to the foothills of F'thnor – that's behind the holme building – and barter with the dwarves there to translate it into dragonbeast and provide you with a mount. THEN take it to the dragonbeast. Try not to get fried. Good luck.”
“...thanks?”
(etc)
After endless travels and trevails, he returned, covered in mud and blood. An hour of queueing later, he presented the completed amulet to the heirarchs of the Arts/Languages Faculty.
“Thanks a lot, we'll let you know when it's ready.”
“You aren't going to use it on the sword now?”
“Oh, it will probably be at least a month before that happens.”
“It takes that long?”
“It only takes a couple of minutes, but we don't have a lot of staff on at the moment.”
“But the villagers are dying! One of them got dismembered on the way in, I had to watch her widower pick up all the pieces in a basket!”
“I appreciate that, but we just don't have any staff on at the moment. If I went and did your little sword thing, there wouldn't be anyone at the front desk, and we couldn't have that, could we?”
“The dragonbeast can't be harmed by normal weapons.”
She sighed. “Look. If you want to stop the monster from eating people, take this treaty form...”
“For the dragon to sign?”
“I'm not finished. Take this treaty form to the foothills of F'thnor – that's behind the holme building – and barter with the dwarves there to translate it into dragonbeast and provide you with a mount. THEN take it to the dragonbeast. Try not to get fried. Good luck.”
“...thanks?”
(etc)
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-02 08:10 am (UTC)(Good luck with your academic travails)
ditto
Date: 2009-03-03 04:25 am (UTC)http://spenceria.wordpress.com/2008/01/29/dispatches-from-the-wilds-of-poetania-an-education-in-literature-as-provided-by-the-faculty-of-arts/
JUST FOR YOU.
Re: ditto
Date: 2009-03-03 01:20 pm (UTC)*points*
Lurker!
You should get an LJ, Spence. You'll be able to read my locked posts and find out what I really think of you.
Re: ditto
Date: 2009-03-04 06:11 am (UTC)Besides, anonymity is great; it lets me say things. Things like penis.
PENIS.
Re: ditto
Date: 2009-03-05 06:03 am (UTC)